Well ladies and gentlemen,
It’s HERE! The MOST wonderful time of the year is quickly approaching like a fast-moving train without any brakes. I myself have never much cared for the holidays (I know I know, the Grinch and I must be related), but let me explain my thoughts here before you go diagnosing me as a grumpy old Scrooge and hopefully give you some tips and tricks that if you’re a little or a lot like me will help you find some joy throughout the winter season we are heading in to.
As a therapist, I see the rainbow of emotions that come up around this time of year. While the weather is changing decreasing our access to Vitamin D, and the time change has us walking around in the dark, society’s narrative has us all believing that in this season, we are supposed to be doing ALL the things and be HAPPY doing them. Any client of mine will tell you, I don’t believe happiness exists (bah humbug). In my opinion, the idea of happiness was created as a brilliant marketing ploy to get people to keep hustling and spending money trying to get to this unreachable place where we can finally be content with ourselves and our lives, only furthering the cognition of not being good enough because we can’t actually get there! It’s a pretty awful negative feedback loop. What I do believe in though, is JOY. Moments of joy and creating space for those moments is so very important to our mental health. I will say more about that later.
Anyway, back to being the Grinch… so here we are, in the never-ending month of November. The kids have been in school for a few months and are carrying various stressors and as the year comes to a close, work is adding on additional deadlines and last-minute goals. Those who celebrate the holidays are beginning the never ending list of accumulating presents and filling their schedules with parties and get togethers. And while the holidays and their expectations carry their own set of stressors, there are also a set of people out there being reminded how little they have, how disconnected they feel and how far they feel from that place of “happy”.
As much joy as there can be in this season, there can also be a lot of hard. Regardless of what you relate most to in the above scenarios, we can ALL use some tips and tricks to survive the season. Below are my Top 5 Go To suggestions for my clients and my gifts to all of you:
1. Get some Vitamin D! I love when I can find just 5 minutes to sit in the sunshine during my day, but if you do not have the opportunity to get some actual sunshine, consider taking a Vitamin D supplement. Always consult with your doctor first, but this can make a huge impact on the way you feel.
2. Watch the kids. Little kids are so present and in awe of the things going on around them. They are not thinking about the past that they can not change or the future they have no control over. Get on their level and check out things from their perspective. It can be very grounding and a great reminder of what things are most important.
3. Meditate. And no it doesn’t have to be like the Buddhist monks meditating (although that's cool too). Moving meditations can be just as helpful. Consider doing a puzzle, a craft or trying to cook a new recipe. Anything that would require you to be present and in the moment. When you notice your thoughts drifting (because they will), gently bring them back to the activity in front of you.
4. Give yourself permission to take a break. It doesn’t have to be a long break (even though you may want a full vacation or trip to the spa), if you are overwhelmed by things going on around you, have some excuses in your back pocket to give you a moment alone. Picking up something from the grocery store, walking the dog or needing to do a quick thing for work are some easily accessible ones. Having a person to hold you accountable to this is also super helpful; if they notice some of your signs before you do, they can discreetly remind you to take a minute. I find when I take breaks and then come back, I can show up to the people around me in a way I am much prouder of, serving me better in the long run.
5. Ground yourself in the present using your 5 senses. Events around the holidays provide a lot of sensory stimulation. Some of my favorite places to do this are when I’m eating a meal, driving in the car with my windows down, on a walk or in the shower (most things we have to do every day anyway). Just noticing gives our brain a break and can really help us come back to the healthiest version of ourselves.
As the great Dr. Brene Brown says “Joy comes to us in ordinary moments. We risk missing out on joy when we get too busy chasing down the extraordinary”. My wish for you and for myself this season is that we take care of ourselves first, that we don’t get caught up in trying to make everything so perfect that we miss the moments and that we are able to allow ourselves to see and feel the joy.
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