Those who know me well, know that I did a Year of Yes back in 2016 and it was one of my favorite years of self-growth to date. At the time, I was in the middle of a hard divorce and starting over in so many ways. The map I thought I was following to success, ended up not being my map at all and I had no idea what to do next. At that point in life there was no manual. I had checked all the boxes- graduated, got married, got a job, built a house and started a beautiful family. And it didn’t feel like success; in many ways because of where my marriage had evolved, it felt completely miserable. I remember reading something that said, “go where it feels good” and so that became my manual for the Year of Yes.
The rule was I had to say YES to all things within reason. I rode roller coasters and water slides, I traveled and took my Yoga Teacher Training, I walked into social situations that I was scared to be in, I moved and opened a private practice, I went to concerts and I ATE all the most amazing foods thanks to my beautiful sister who made it her mission to make sure my Year of Yes included sprinkling my palette with all the things I would have never even considered trying. It was fun; SO fun and it woke up a childlike part of me that had been sleeping for a while. It gave me courage and confidence, friendships and wonderful memories.
This year, I decided I wanted to do a Year of Yes again. I mean reading that who wouldn’t. Why isn’t every year a Year of Yes when that is the outcome? I have wondered many times heading into this year, how I got so far away from that woman I became in that Year of Yes. It is incredible how easy it was for me to fall back into familiar patterns, insecurities and fears. How quickly my perfectionist, people pleasing tendencies took back over driving the bus and how I began to rebuild my life around what I thought it was “supposed” to look like, forgetting about the feeling part.
So here we are in present day, and other than the fact that I am once again embarrassingly navigating through a second divorce, this Year of Yes feels quite different from the first one. What I’ve found this time around is that the things I am saying yes to have changed. In 2016, I was saying yes to the things that pulled me outside of my comfort zone, fun, laughter and excitement. The careful planner in me said yes to being a risk taker and allowing myself to feel all the things. I wanted at that time in life to say yes to the things that made me feel free and alive.
And not that I don’t want to say yes to those things this year too because believe me when given the chance I plan to, but it feels more important this year to focus on saying yes to me. To check in with what I need and want and say yes to those things. To say yes to boundaries. To say yes to my intuition. To say yes to the friends who show up for me and accept me for the mess that I am rather than chasing the ones that don’t. It feels important in this Year of Yes, to say yes to my integrity; to show up as the person I want to be remembered as instead of taking the easy route or having someone else tell me what I “should” be doing. Where my daughter was watching me before at 5 she is watching me and taking notes in a different way now at 13 and as much as I hate her witnessing my failures, I know it is also my opportunity to teach her how to be human and how to rise from the things that knock us down, hopefully becoming better and continuing to grow into someone we can be proud of. I don’t want her to ever minimize her own needs, to ever build a life for someone else or feel selfish for taking care of herself, I don’t want her to ever martyr herself for someone else’s “should”. So this year I will say YES to me first and hopefully I can hold on to that much longer than one year.
What are you saying yes to this year? I encourage you to get clear on what you want to bring into this year. Whether it's through a vision board or finding someone to hold you accountable, find a way to focus your mindset on the things you want to bring into your life and how you want to FEEL. Next January when you look back on 2025, what do you want to have created?
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